Patience

Ski racers have enough to worry about what with getting enough training hours, eating correctly and racing competitively. Illness is just one more worry that ski racers take amazing pains to avoid. I’m a bit of a germophobe when it comes to illness (just ask my roommates). I’m the kid in class who sits with my coat on so I can bury my head in it to avoid catching whatever it is the person behind me is coughing up. I wash my hands so much my hands split and bleed.

So it’s hard for me not to feel bitter when I get sick. And now that I’ve been sick for over two months (I don’t think I ever got well), I’m downright melancholy. Illness takes more than just a toll on your body; it takes a toll on your mind too. Not being able to train and race makes me question myself and my ability to race well. I feel like a potato chip—greasy and slow. The worst part, though, is that I feel disconnected from my team, my family. Skiing together, training together, racing together is how those bonds form, and not being a part of that is difficult.

I’ve been trying to get better—eating well, sleeping lots, relaxing. But it doesn’t seem to be working. I went to the doctor again today and she gave me lots of antibiotics and told me I should have my tonsils out. So I have a choice now: I can brood about being sick for the rest of the season, or I can accept that life and skiing aren’t perfect and do the best I can. I can’t say that I don’t care, but this is just one season of my life. I’m sure I’ll get another shot at racing, and who knows, maybe this won’t negatively affect my season after all. And if it does, at least I’ll have my ski team family there to support me. Patience is just one quality ski racers must develop. I guess this is my year to work on it.